Archive for the ‘Personal Life Testimony’ Category

Summary of 2013

I consider last year to be the most challenging year of my life.

It was the year that God finally brought us to a church where we felt so at home. Not that we never felt that way from the other places that we’ve been to since the day we moved from our hometown. But we just felt that kind of feeling when you meet some kindred spirits.

Months passed and I really got involved in the church. I never say no to anything that my pastor or his wife asked me to do for the church, especially when it comes to music because our family made a promise to the Lord that we will allow Him to use us in His service wherever we are. I felt a great passion for the music ministry in church that I even asked my pastor if I could teach voice lessons. It was all great for me. I feel like I’m making the Lord proud by sharing with others the things that I learned throughout the years to improve myself and become a better singer for the Lord.

But behind all that, I was suffering from a broken heart. For that entire year, I fought really hard against my emotions and desperately asked the Lord to hold me together so I won’t break down. It’s a challenge to cry your heart out at night and wake up the next day to lead the singing of praises and worship with a forced smile. Still, I kept moving forward.

Meanwhile, the enemy thought that he could finally destroy me. And at that state of brokenness, he added a lot of messy events until I reached the point where I’m already telling myself, ‘As long as I still have my pastor’s confidence, it’s all that really matters.’ Needless to say, because of my sudden exposure in music in our place, there have been plenty of misunderstandings and wrong impressions. I taught songs, led the singing, but deep inside I’m in pain and I tried so hard to hide that. By that time, all I could ask from the Lord is for Him to make these moments pass by so quickly that I wouldn’t feel so much agony for a long time. I wanted to ask my pastor to just apoint somebody else so I could run away from all the negativity around me. Even my family suffered deeply, and it’s been tough because I can’t find any friend whom I can share my troubles with. But then again, I promised the Lord that I will do my very best in everything that He wants me to do, so as long as my pastor believes in me, that means the Lord is still on my side, so I will just do my job and keep my promise. I keep on telling myself that the enemy is just so desperate to destroy the children of God that he (the devil) would even try to break our relationships and make us go against each other so that we will scatter and end up getting angry with the Lord.

So despite every emotion that tried to pull me down, I gave what I think is the best that I can do for God. And it really made me so happy, so fulfilled! After a while, God made a way to break the wrong impressions and misunderstandings, so I felt more relieved that I never gave up. And even before that, I already got invitations to sing at two concerts hosted by two pastors from other churches. I’ve never felt so awesome! Just like everybody else, I also feel unworthy to be a part of His ministry and I don’t think that I’m really a good singer, but to know that God can use me even at the worst moments of my life is a proof that He can use our brokenness to help us become better individuals that He wants us to be! It’s not only for us to become stronger, but it’s also for us to know that no matter what happens, we can still live up our purpose as long as we don’t forget that He will always be with us! To God be all the glory!

Read Full Post »

Don’t we all have dreams? Don’t we all wish for some things to happen in our lives? Or get the things that we really want to have? Or share great times with the people we love?

A lot of people work hard every single day for something that they want to achieve in the future. If you ask the peoplearound you for the reason why they are doing whatever they are doing right, you’ll most probably get answers like “I’m saving up for a car”, “I’m preparing for my business plan”, “I’m expecting a baby”, “I have debts to pay”, “The house loan is my priority right now, so I’m working extra hard”.

There are hundred more reasons out there and it’s always about the future. People are always worried about the future. They are always planning for the future. Sad to say, most people also miss the fun of the present because of the future.  (more…)

Read Full Post »

Open DoorAs of this moment I’m still in tears, overwhelmed by the unconditional love of Jesus. From the time He was born until the day He shed His blood on the Cross…From the time I was born until the day I’m typing this blog, He never ceases to amaze me with His overflowing love.

I’m always speechless.

I don’t know if there would be an adjective word that can define what I feel right now but I can’t stop myself from sharing His goodness. He has done so many great things in my life…

I can’t simply hold it!

A few days ago, I lay in bed, overpowered by sickness due to the unstable weather and consecutive sleepless nights (as a preparation for our youth seminar). My mind is also stressed out with some things I’m so worried about. I have a great feeling that my physical body just resigned and was drained by my stressed mind and so I got sick.

I’m not sure if this was God’s way of telling me to stop, relax, take a deep breath and just simply trust Him. For the past few weeks, I was drowned in worried thoughts. There are just so many things that I wanted to happen in my life so bad. There are also things that I’m afraid to lose…scared to give up. Oh, just thinking about giving up the things that I wanted so bad or giving up on people that are so dear to me…it already breaks my heart. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Tonight, I decided to rest for a few minutes and meditate on God’s goodness in my life. I admit I feel a little tired and weary. I’ve been working a lot. And since yesterday, I only have 3 hours of sleep. So, I’m very much exhausted.

I sat at the balcony, trying to clear my mind from everything that’s bothering me. I just want a moment of silence and feel God’s loving embrace. My sister’s book caught my attention. It is a compilation of great Bible verses that are uplifting to the soul. I took it and asked God to direct me in a particular verse that I need. When I opened the book, these are the verses that I saw:

Isaiah 40:28-31

King James Version (KJV)

 28Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I can’t believe it. God really spoke to me through these powerful verses. No matter what we feel and what circumstance we are in, the Lord is really faithful in His promises. We must not forget to hold on to His words.

Read Full Post »

Amidst the busy preparation for special holiday gatherings, it’s that time of year again where people tend to recollect everything they passed through the whole year. This tradition is done by almost everyone from different denominations and organizations. And as 2012 approaches, I’d like to share with you my thoughts about the eventful moments my family ventured this year and how it impacted my life as a Christian.

If you have read my previous posts about my Family Ministry Adventure, you already have an idea how many times we moved from one place to another since March. And before I proceed, I want to tell you that we’re moving to a new house again.

            The initial boost of my emotion caused by the news that we’re finally moving from our almost 14 years of home-church is resulted by my excitement to ride off on a new adventure. Though I treasure the people who are so dear to me, I can say that my emotions are not trapped in too much attachment. I’m not heartless. It’s just that it was an easy task for me to forget and move on when I set my heart on it.

                        I can’t say it for my own, but based on my observations, when you own a house, you are entitled to design it the very best way you can. Some people even go to the extent of setting a theme-inspired designs on their houses. But there are also those whom prefer to have their home combined with different mixtures of colors, accessories and style. That’s what I call abstract house.

            In our temporary rented house in Tuao, it was evident that we don’t care a bit at how to beautify that place. We know we’re moving to a new place. So, there’s no point of spending time, effort and some money on it. On the next house we lived in Tuguegarao, the same feelings existed. Even if we tend to do our best to keep the place clean, there’s no extra effort exerted to beautify the interior of the house.

            At last, we moved to Wonderland. I’m not sure about the other members of our family, but for me, I felt like I’m finally home. There’s just the perfect peace and serenity found in this place I wouldn’t trade for any mansion in the midst of the busy and noisy city. When the family finally agreed that we have to move before January 1, I’m mixed with stirred emotions.

            And so it made me think the way a Christian lives. If you are full of faith in your heart, no matter what degrading situation you are currently in, there’s a hint of hope in your heart that someday you’ll be able to get through it and step on the next level. That hope, even if it’s just a tiny little bubble in your heart, is what keeps you going. You never worry about how you would look, you never worry about how you dress. As long as you are pure in heart, the journey keeps going. Just as the way we don’t care if our temporary house doesn’t look like a fancy little box on stranger’s eyes. For as long as we sweep the floor everyday, dishes are washed, backyards are cleaned, nothing else matters…

            When you finally reach that winning point of your life, the run begins to slow down until you forget all about the journey. It may be an extra bonus from your boss, an increase in monthly income, acquisition of a brand new car, a big house or upgraded gadget. These things we consider blessings in our lives but can actually go wrong when not handled very well.

Attachment. More often than not, the common problem we face as Christians of today is how we get attached to the things we consider “blessings from God” but often led us away from Him. Instead of focusing on being “clean”, we get more concerned with how we look and the way others see our outward appearance. Some big houses I’ve visited pose aesthetic qualities and yet when you look closer, you’ll notice accumulated dirt, cobwebs and dust on hidden dark corners. While it is very essential to be presentable to others, the main purpose of Christianity loses its power in our lives when we focus on that matter alone.

And so, instead of hoping for a leap of faith, our attachment to the “blessed situation” we are currently in blinds us from the glorious future that awaits us. Have you ever wondered why are you stuck in situation a faithful Christian shouldn’t be in? Stop wondering and do something about it.

            Release yourself from the bondage of attachment. Things and people come and go. Problems happen and end. If you cry over it today, do your best to smile about it tomorrow. There’s nothing wrong about reflecting the past memories. But the Lord doesn’t want you to love this world more than Him. Your purpose is not grounded on a single ministry alone. Prepare your heart everyday as you may find Him surprise you in doing something you never thought you could or He may lead you to places you’ve never dreamed of going.

            Don’t hinder the great things in store for you. The rapid changes, from difficulty to victory, can only happen when you are always willing and ready to be moved.

Focus on the main thing, focus on Jesus.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: